What Tacky Lights Look Like in the Daytime

Christmas is over and New Year’s has passed. Now it’s time to clean up the mess. The life of the snow people, manger inhabitants, reindeer and santas will now be put on hold in storage. They had a good run. Not so much during the daytime though.

Your jetpack won’t save you, Rocket [snow] Man. It’s to storage with you.

Oh look, Santa’s coming home. Just in time to see another “Santa” rushing away on a ladder. Get thee to storage pronto. Looks like y’all have a lot to talk about.

Heeeyyy, Fancy No-Pants! That scarf would look great – wrapped around a storage crate. Remember: top hats are optional inside and you won’t have to worry about warning people about fishing on thin ice, because ice melts in storage during July/August.

The Snow Couple have tried to get away in their dirigible, but the mighty pine has caught them. Let’s hope the warden doesn’t put them in a special, windowless section of storage. Because these guys…they’re slippery.

We see here Ms. Frosty presenting a blue candy cane at the Nativity. We’ll have plenty of time in our partially heated storage unit to research whether or not candy canes existed in 0 BC. (spoiler alert: they don’t. #backtothedrawingboard)

Looks like the Three-Eyed Martian didn’t get to item #10 on his list of chores: RAKE THE LEAVES. Candy Land’s been declared a disaster area but don’t tell the Gingerbread Men. They’re all smiles. Clueless, tasty, bread people. #glutenfreefail

SANTA LAND HERE! Along with a very real chance of electrocution if you try to steal Yellow Bear’s roasted marshmallow. Fret not, Yellow. No one will be there to get your precious marshmallow in storage. #packingpeanuts

A mischievous snow bear photobombs us here. In the distance, Schroeder plays on like the band on the Titanic – because all of you will soon be sinking into a sea of bundled Richmond Times-Dispatch scraps and Walmart adverts. Christmas Trees $0.05? Methinks you owe me $0.10 for photobombing this awesomely framed shot.

Sit there all you want, Snow Bear. You know what waits. It’s the storage unit and the warden doesn’t give any favors to ne’er do well photobombers like yourself. Keep on smiling. That cuteness isn’t going to help matters. Just stop it. Seriously. Oh DAMNIT! OK. A couple more weeks for all of you. But then it’s STORAGE!

Until next November, west-end tacky light house. Pack ’em up tight!

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